Encouraging - Sin of Comparison

McDonalds’ success internationally is directly proportional to its ability to create virtually the same dining experience whether in Lincoln, Nebraska or Vienna, Austria. There’s no need to compare McDonalds’ hamburgers from location to location because their core business is built on uniformity. Individuals on the other hand are not uniform. Recently I’ve been struck by the sin of comparison.

A first child offers all sorts of challenges; regardless of others’ urgings it’s hard not to compare our son, Cole, with his contemporaries. From the first doctor’s visit, we’re told our son’s various percentiles (head size, length, and weight) then dutifully reminded at each subsequent visit whether he’s on track or falling behind. Then there’s Reece, one of Cole’s advanced girlfriends, who rolled over at 2 ½ weeks and crawled soon thereafter. But Cole has significantly more teeth than Reece, so there. The other woman in Cole’s life, Elizabeth, also has highly developed motor skills, but on our last visit, her mom said, “why don’t you talk as much as Cole?” It didn’t matter that her daughter crawled more efficiently, signed better, and could successfully assemble a Rubik’s cube…she wanted it all; we all want it all, don’t we? And, we want it right now.

Why have we as a society moved so far from celebrating each person’s uniqueness? God’s plan and pace differs for each person: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). Watching Cole develop in contrast to his peers has reminded me of the simple but poignant fact: the older I get the more I am inclined to compare my life to others. Incidentally, we never compare the whole life; rather, we just compare the perceived “best” aspects of others’ lives. We are not able to walk in another man’s shoes nor do we know what that person’s life is really like. How do we fight our nature to compare ourselves to others?

#1: Remind yourself that you stand before an audience of One. I tell my students that your peers are not your standard, but I fall victim to the same crime. God will hold you accountable for how you choose to use your time and talents not your neighbor’s. Are you too busy looking around yourself to hear what God is calling you to do today?

#2: Remind yourself of all for which you have to be thankful. I take so much for granted. Contentment is a choice. There will always be flashier gadgets to covet, more attractive jobs to pursue, or greener grass in someone else’s yard, but stop for a minute and take inventory of all the ways God has blessed you. Are you cold? Are you hungry? Are you loved?

Encouraging - Leadership

The nature of human beings is such that we tend not to drift into better behaviors. We usually have to be asked by someone to taking it up a level.

Leaders must never expect from others anything more than they’re willing to deliver themselves. They should never expect higher levels of commitment, creativity, persistence, or patience than what they themselves manifest on a regular basis. If you cannot say, “Follow me,” to your followers – and mean it – then you’ve got a big problem. A big one. Speed of the leader, speed of the team.

Bill Hybels, Axiom: Powerful Leadership Proverbs (Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI: 2008), 23, 94.

Encouraging - Purpose

You have a far more strategic role to play than just filling a church pew and helping to meet the annual budget. God has an assignment designed precisely for you – and this is part of the abundant life you so earnestly crave. As you give yourself to God’s special assignment, you will pray more and with a deeper sense of passion. You will hunger for a greater understanding of the Bible and how it applies to your life. You will regularly sense the help of the Holy Spirit, since God always works with those who give themselves to work for him…If, by contrast, we sadly reduce our relationship with God to a preoccupation with “bless me, bless me,” we will only be frustrated. The more we reach for happiness in life, the more it eludes us.

Jim Cymbala, You Were Made for More: The Life You Have, the Life God Wants You to Have (Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI: 2008), 26.

Encouraging - One Year

As I was mowing the grass over the weekend, Krista placed Cole in front of the window to watch his daddy. With each pass his smile grew bigger, his mom took off a piece of his clothing (clearly naked pictures are better), and the mundane task of cutting the grass had never been more fun. While I was mowing, I began to reflect on all the different ways Cole’s first year had enriched our lives. At six months, Krista decided we would write letters to Cole at 6 months, and then every birthday until his 18th birthday. At 18, instead of a car or a new fabulous wardrobe for college, we’ll just give him a box full of letters; I’m sure he’ll be very grateful. Seriously though, as one who appreciates words of affirmation, I thought Krista’s idea was a very good one. I wanted to share my second letter to Cole with all of you. P.S. Please don’t tell Cole (or a future child(ren)) that we’re writing letters to them, Krista will disown me. Dear Cole,

Watching you grow and mature this past year has been the most amazing thing in my life. I never thought my heart would allow me to love this much. Your personality continues to unfold with each passing day. Your endless amount of joy evokes smiles from everyone you encounter. Simultaneously, I already am beginning to see your obstinate/intense side emerge; your laser-like focus allows nothing to deter you from your objective. I pray this resolve will serve you well in life; giving you the depth of character to stand firm in your beliefs and to traverse against the flow – “Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will” (Rom 12:2).

You are on this earth for a wonderful reason. God has a magnificent plan for you. You will undoubtedly face adversity, but God allows adversity to produce fire in our bones. All of my major growth has occurred in the valleys, in those times of heartache, pain and sorrow. Life does not always turn out the way we hope or plan, but “in his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Prov 16:9). I have found life is abundantly easier and more fulfilling when you remain obedient and stay in God’s will. God’s plan will prevail – the easy or the hard way – so you might as well be obedient the first time. You are very fortunate to have such a wonderful and thoughtful mother; it was her idea to write these notes to you and I am confident these notes are just the beginning of endless ways we will demonstrate our love for you. Always remember, no matter how much your mother and I love you, God loves you more. It’s hard to believe, but it is true. We are so humbled and grateful to God for giving us the opportunity to help you grow in Him.

Love,
Dad