Encouraging - Priorities

People continue to ask me whether I am working on a new book. The short answer is “no.” I don’t know when I would find the time. Silence is a rare commodity with a 14 month old and when there is silence I’d prefer to play a game with Krista, read a book, or simply have grown up talk. By nature, I am a very results-driven person, so even though I love spending time with my family, there has been an internal struggle for my “lack of productivity.” Much like my pastor this morning talked about patience is a choice, so is how we define productivity. In Malcolm Gladwell’s recent book, Outliers, he purports that in order to reach the highest level in anything that one must spend at least 10,000 hours doing it, practicing it and refining that expertise. As I played with those numbers in my head, I started to think about that figure in relation to one’s family. Let’s assume one could apply this theory to your familial life.

For most parents, we’ll have eighteen years with our children under our roofs. 10,000 hours divided by 18 (years) = 555.55 divided by 365 (days in a year) = 1.52 hours per day. In order to become experts on the ones we love the most we need to spend on average 1 ½ hours per day with them. Life is full of choices. What do you truly value? What would someone say about your values based on your calendar? For a results-driven person like myself, at times I have to consciously tell myself simply “being” with those you love is enough. You cannot necessarily quantify it. But there is something palpable about having someone you love close to you even if not a word is spoken. There is something divine about having someone you love present when you are recognized publicly. There is something life-giving about knowing you are loved. At our graduation ceremonies yesterday, we ask for the families to stand when their child’s name is called. Standing is a symbol of solidarity and representative of “we are all in this together.”

I’d like to leave you with a quotation from Crossroads (no, I’m not quoting myself), rather, Walter Wright. He offers some wonderful advice on this very subject I would like to share for those of you haven’t had a chance to read it.

“Second, I discovered early that the trail is more important that the summits. Because I had sons while still in my twenties, I learned to relax about getting places and to enjoy the day at hand. It took me a bit longer than my peers to finish each stage of my schooling, but along the way I had marvelous opportunities to practice much of what I was studying, to enjoy my family, and to climb mountains with friends. The most important advice I would give any person early in the journey is to avoid rushing! Tomorrow will still be there. Live today; enjoy the people whom God sends across your path today; learn from them; care for them. The journey of life happens each day, and life is measured by the journey we walk, not how high or how far we can go” Colin Creel, Crossroads: Navigating Your Calling and Career (Crossway, Wheaton, IL: 2008) p. 147.